


All of Me

by thatoneeccedentesiast



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Complete, Gen, Kankri-centric, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:49:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneeccedentesiast/pseuds/thatoneeccedentesiast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kankri doesn't like The Signless. But he has hope for Karkat</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of Me

"Kankri!" ** _  
_**

Said teenager turned his head to see the grinning face of Aranea. He wondered why she wanted to talk to him. They weren't close, never had been and it was uncommon for her to seek him out - especially now that they were all dead.

Shifting so he could meet her white eyes, he cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"You know how you said that the trolls that look like us on Alternia couldn't be us because it's ridiculous?"

He furrowed his brow. "It  _is_ ridiculous! There's no way such a think could happen! No amount of genetic combinations could lead to identical duplicates of ourselves and-"

Getting irritated very fast, the other troll opened her mouth and yelled "The one with your blood remembers Beforus!"

"What?!" Kankri sputtered. "That's impossible!"

Grinning again, she leaned in. "Yeah? Well I've been watching him and he's talking about our peaceful way of life to Porrim's copy. He  _dreams_ about it, Kankri. You can't deny it anymore, he's _you._ " _  
_

Gut turning with unease, the teenager scoffed and pointed his nose in the air. "I will continue to say he's not _me_ because dreaming of a more peaceful world does not imply he's seeing Beforus! In a barbaric place like Alternia many troll must dream of a place of peace - especially little mutants like him."

"Oh you're just mad! We all know he's going to die when he trips and cuts his knee or hands! But  _my_ copy's already proving to be a very great one! She's coming along nicely as a pirate!" She blinked then and bit her lip. "Oh dear, that was a tad harsh, wasn't it Kankri? I don't want your copy to die. No one does."

Uncomfortable and wanting her to shut-up about the strange doubles that walk the planet they once called Beforus, Kankri curled his lips into a snarl and hissed. "I don't _care_ if he dies! He's not  _me_!" Turning his back on the other teenager, he grumbled "If you don't leave, I'm going to have to lecture you on  _all_ the reasons why your theory is a piece of utter trigger-worthy garbage!"

He heard her dash off and only then did Kankri look back and sigh. Soon, they'd all be swayed to believe Aranea. And how could they not? That...copy. His memories were thanks to him being a blood player in the game. Their life from Beforus was bleeding over into this "Carmine's" chance and someday...someday he might just recall how terrible a person Kankri was and that it was thanks, in part, to him that the peaceful world he dreamed of didn't exist in more than the collective memory of those floating around in the Dream Bubbles and the like.

Later, the teenager went to see his double. He was a kid that ran around a lot. Smiled. Talked a lot. But he was also... _fearful_. He didn't go far from his "mother"'s side ever. He kept the hood to his cape up whenever they were out among other trolls and he became  _mute_. It felt awful to see it.

 _Because that wasn't Kankri_.

Kankri didn't get quiet, he didn't hesitate, and he especially didn't let Porrim baby him as she did to his young copy.

How could someone so different be him?

They just couldn't, Kankri decided.

* * *

Over the course of the Ancestors, as they would be called with time, lives Kankri's copy grew up and became the righteous man Kankri always wanted to be. Sometimes, his Beforus companions would whisper about it. They wondered why he couldn't be more like "Carmine" and if he would have been less annoying if he'd grown up in a violent, scary place like Alternia.

It was always on the tip of his tongue to scold them for such an idea. Because that would mean they  _approved_ of this new world and that just wasn't  _okay_. But sometimes he wondered the same. If his life had been less...soft, would people have listened to him as they listened to "Carmine" or as he was known "The Signless". Would Alternia not exist then? Would they all still be alive and happy on Beforus? _  
_

He didn't know.

Of course, the day came when The Signless's preaching got him in trouble. Kankri's talking got him into trouble a lot too, so he probably should have expected it...but he hadn't  _expected_  things to turn so visceral so fast. Soon enough, they hunted down the Singless and chained him up and killed him. His mother cried. His Disciple cried. His best friend, the Psiioniic, cried. Everyone was  _crying_. Well, the ones who loved him. The others _laughed_ at him and took  _pleasure_ in his death.

(He wondered if Aranea, Meenah and all the others wanted him just as dead too).

Once departed, the Signless was re-named the Sufferer.

With time, the other Beforus trolls began to call him the Insufferable. The irony was not lost on anyone.

Kankri hated the name just as much as he hated his double.

Because in the end, both of them were failures. They had tried ( _so hard_ ) to change their worlds and failed. Carmine/The Signless/The Sufferer had been the best version of Kankri too and he'd still ended up dying and failing to accomplish his one goal. If Kankri at his best couldn't achieve their dream, what hope did any of his lineage have?

They were all doomed.

Or so he thought until Karkat came into the scene. Maybe, just maybe,  _this_ candy red blood troll could do something about their world and lives. Maybe he could save his world and redeem them all. Prove once and for all, they  _were_ good leaders. They were worth respect and admiration. That they were worth the lives they'd been given.

Kankri was desperate to see such a thing happen.


End file.
